I learned the hard way that even though you’re at a great
school with highly caring and supportive staff.
Important things in your child’s educational program can get overlooked
and even forgotten. At my daughter’s initial
commencement at school, she had a successful toileting program which was
started upon her first the day of Junior Kindergarten. She was taken to the toilet twice a day and managed
to stay dry most days. The same procedure
was followed in senior kindergarten and again in grade one. Actually in grade one she would be taken on
schedule but also whenever she requested using a tech talk (speech output
device). Her Educational Assistant (EA) was
very keen on teaching her the speech device and took her whenever she
asked. I loved how keen they were to
help her with speech and toileting.
When Grade 2 started this past fall, I was pleased to hear
that she had the same teacher, but once again she had a new EA. At my daughter’s school board there is no
consistency year after year as EAs are relocated to other schools. I was very focused on my daughter’s education
plan for the year and spent much time talking to the teachers about how we
would help Ashley to learn to read. They
refined and came up with a great educational program in many areas.
When your child needs
multiple accommodations, it is inevitable that there are many things to
communicate each day and in school meetings with the teachers. Unfortunately I recently
made the big mistake of not enquiring about toileting at all before two months had
passed. I received feedback that Ashley
was not that happy at school and didn’t want to walk. I didn’t understand why
that would be so. Then three weeks ago, I learned at our Single Plan of Care Meeting
that toileting wasn’t happening. No one
talked about toileting and unfortunately no toileting was taking place. I found this to be grossly upsetting and I thought
it must be addressed immediately. Unfortunately not everyone was comfortable
with the process and it took close to two weeks to address this very basic
human need. This need was included on
her IPRC statement and was discussed briefly with the staff in the days before
school started.
I learned from all this, that it is very important for parents of non-verbal
kids to speak up and ask many questions, even inquiries that may seem somewhat
naive. It is important to continuously be
hands-on, show the staff that they must work with your children to assist them
in learning how to communicate, how to feed their self, toilet and walk in the
most independent manner. No one cares about this more than Mom or Dad.
I learned that this
also happened to a close friend’s daughter recently to her child is also
non-verbal. Just today someone told me
this kind of communication breakdown, oversight, misunderstanding or just plain
lack of training happens to vulnerable kids all the time.
I feel I played as much a part of this, as the school did,
for not focusing on those skills for which she was reasonably competent and was
just part of her basic care. I feel bad
this happened to my daughter and I hope the school will allow me to take a more
active role in her care at school. As Ashley
has a 3 year old brother, it’s hard to find the time to be at school. However, it
is something I will be making time for in the next few weeks. I also plan to spend much more time at school
with Ashley in the first few weeks of a school year to ensure everyone is
comfortable with assisting her with walking, toileting, communicating and
feeding my child. I know that no one
intended for this to happen, however it’s sad to me that I learned this kind of
oversight happens to children like my daughter all the time. For other special needs parents I’d love to
know if this sort of thing ever happened to your child? How did you find out? What kind of questions do you ask in your child’s
communication book to make sure that everything necessary is happening each and
every day?
